Did you survive your first year?  I did.  That doesn’t really say anything BUT I still made it.  I basically avoided most people in the department in my first year, read lots, shopped even more, told people I was doing a fid (whilst rolling my eyes all blase), told people that I didn’t ‘care’ about it like most fid students because I wouldn’t be going on to a career in research, shopped some more (I had a mucho generous grant), had coffee/tea mornings, generally did fook all and waxed lyrical. 

Ahhhh that year was sweet, wholesome and lurvely.  The dreams of grandeur and recognition as a scientist.  Enjoy that year because you ain’t ever gonna go back there.

The reality sets in after you do the end of first year viva.

So what happens in second year?  You will probably spend most of it trying to go to conferences and workshops.  Preferably in far flung places around the world.  At these gatherings you will meet all different kind of  crazy people.  And don’t be fooled like I was, people do not go to these meetings to advance their science knowledge or review others work, no.   These meetingss are about money.  Lots of money.  Lots of funding.  Lots of begging.  As a second year with (hopefully) a grant this will leave you feeling like you are missing the point of most of the conversations.  O, and everyone knows everyone else.  So drink lots of alcohol at the dinners and pretend you know them all too.  Trust me, its the only way.

There will of course be other students there who are in the same boat as you but be warned!  They are not your comrade, your buddy or someone to sure the strangeness of it all.  Nine times outta ten they are your competition.  And fuck, do they let you and everyone else know it.  So again, you will have to man up and put up a good dignified fight.

Either that or slope off to your hotel room and clear out the mini bar until that nasty big conference is all just a dream.